West Of Loathing Ghostwood

The comprehensive wiki resource for West of Loathing, the animated single-player adventure RPG set in the Wild West of the Loathing universe. Developed by Asymmetric, the same fellers who brought you 'Kingdom of Loathing'.

Before chasing down necromancers and would-be emperors, West Of Loathing has your stick figure cowpoke starting out as a lowly traveler first getting a taste of the adventurer's life in Boring Springs.

This prologue segment is deceptive though, as there's a lot more to do than you'd expect. We want to make sure you don't miss one single element of the entire Boring Springs prologue section -- and there are a lot of things you can miss!

There's even an extra achievement if you manage to do everything and earn the maximum amount of meat possible before leaving Boring Springs behind and heading to Dirtwater with your companion.

Once you get out of Boring Springs and start exploring the wild black and white yonder, be sure to check out our other West Of Loathing walkthroughs:

Welcome to the Boring Springs environs!

Getting Started With West Of Loathing

This the first question everyone has, and I can confirm that the meat reward starting screen does absolutely nothing besides changing name and gender.

Seriously, don't be like me and waste an hour shooting the screen over and over trying to get the highest meat reward below your wanted poster -- it literally does nothing to your character, your starting meat, or the game's quest lines. It was crafted just to get you to keep shooting until you realize that all existence is pointless.

Didn't expect to have to deal with existential dread so early in the game, did you?

Now choose between melee fighter (Cow Puncher), wizard (Beanslinger), and ranged combatant / potion brewer (Snake Oiler). Not sure which class to pick and how it might affect the game? Our full breakdown is available here.

Disable the auto-spend XP option in the menu screen, as you need to put two points in Moxie as soon as you can. On that note, interact with absolutely everything in your house and an around the farm, because most of them give you a small amount of XP.

Read the books to get the Stupid Walking perk, if you want to constantly be laughing at how your gunslinger moves. Set the bird free, then head outside and grab the needle in the haystack.

If you plan on going after the A Fistful Of Cutlets achievement, choose the bartering option when talking to your mother and tell your brother you want to make your fortune outside the farm. All throughout the guide below we'll highlight which options make it possible to get the achievement and which block off that path.

Talk to your dad and tell him the hat doesn't fit to get a pair of brass knuckles as a starter weapon.

Its just plain fun to do

Boring Springs Completion

In the main area, make sure to grab the turnip and the broken board, then run into the all the cacti in Boring Springs repeatedly until you earn the Mostly Scabs perk.

Head into the tavern, push down your gag reflex hard, and shove your hand into the spittoon to get the nasty ring. Look in the hat box and grab the Four Gallon Hat. Now talk to the bartender to get the goblin quest and head downstairs. Pick up the newspaper and whiskey.

If you want the Fistful Of Cutlets achievement, go ahead and kill Gary, then return to the bartender for your meat reward. If you'd prefer to bring him along as your companion, take the whiskey to Doc Alice, then learn to speak goblin by reading her books and return to recruit Gary.

Confronting Gary

Head into the Sherf's office and grab the first missing mug, then talk to him to get a quest and a piece of dynamite. Go to the trader and trade the needle you picked up earlier for another piece of dynamite, then talk to the Cactus Man standing nearby to learn the location of the shovel.

Head over to the stables and talk to the man missing his three horses, and make sure to ask about his injury to learn about Doc Alice, then grab the needles in the haystacks.

Orehole Mine

Pull up the map and travel to Orehole Mine, where you can grab the shovel from the outhouse. Search the carts inside and outside and make sure to pick up the next mug.

Inside, call the elevator from floor 3 and pick up the crowbar out of the elevator shaft. Next, call the elevator from floor 1 to get the plunger, and then floor 2 to get the blasting caps. Assemble all three pieces on the left side of the screen and blow it all up to open another room.

You're going to need this all throughout the game

Use your nifty new shovel to dig for some silver, then search the cart and use the grains to convince the dark horse to return home.

Boneyard

Access the map and head to the Boneyard next, where you can find another missing mug lying on the ground.

Battle all the skeletons in the area, including by using the shovel to dig up graves when necessary, then make sure to read all of the grave stones, as this allows you to get another quest and recruit Susie Cochrane as a pardner later.

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Talk to the ghost horse and choose all the dialog options to make the oats as spooky as possible so it will eat.

Diggin' up bones

Cochrane Ranch

Return to Boring Springs and talk to the lady at the bar who wasn't very chatty before. Now you can mention her family name from the tombstones to get the location of the ranch on your map.

Head to the ranch and make sure to pick up the varmint knife while you are there. Kill the demon cow and raid the safe to get the Cochrane family rifle, then take it back to Susie, who will now be available as a possible pardner when you leave Boring Springs.

Grabbing Susie's rifle

Thousand Snakes Gulch

Pull up the map and head to the Thousand Snakes Gulch, where you need to grab the shiny rock and fight two snake battles.

Although it seems counter-intuitive, at the third snake, first choose the option to surrender, then kill the snake. Now you can talk to the crazy horse that's been chewing too much locoweed and convince it you aren't there to suck out its soul.

Give it the homing oats to finish off the three horse retrievals, then return to the stables and get your reward. You can either buy a horse now or wait until the end just before leaving. If you want to quickly earn all the Nex Mex necromancer spells, be sure to pick the Ghost horse.

Now return to Orehole mine and use your sticks of dynamite to blow up the box for some extra meat.

Traversing the snake path

Fricker Gang's Hideout

Travel to the bandit hideout and make sure to choose the option to immediately shoot the lookout if you want the Fistful Of Cutlets and Wanted: Dead achievements later in the game.

Shooting the lookout grants you the Ruthless perk, and those two achievements can't be earned without this perk. Afterwards, search all the crates for extra meat and to find another missing mug.

Talk to the next bandit in the tub and ask for his soap, then choose the option to drown him. Now use the Ruthless perk to shoot the first bandit in the head and fight the others. Afterwards, grab another mug sitting there and search all the crates in the back area. Don't forget to pick up the door for the Sherf!

Getting a bar of soap from a bath time bandit

Poop and Gambling

We're almost done, but there's a few more things to do back in Boring Springs first. Head to the merchant and exchange the soap for the lock and then get the silver pocket watch. Give the door back to the Sherf and set the lock in place.

Now take your nifty shovel and shovel all those piles of poop around town if you haven't yet for some extra experience and another missing mug. Head to Doc Alice's and give her the whiskey you picked up earlier. Go through all the dialog options and fully search her house, including preening and reading all the books.

If you haven't yet, go into the character menu and spend XP to increase Moxie to at least level 3. Now go to the gambling table and choose the bet crazily gambling options. When given the option, use the Hornswaggle, Outfox, or Intimidate options for maximum meat earnings.

Betting Crazily with 3 Moxie

Turn in all your missing mugs for a hefty meat reward. Head over to Crazy Pete one more time, and make sure to sell everything you don't need. At this point, you can return to the Orehole Mine and set the elevator to level 40 if you want to turn the game on hard mode, otherwise just ignore that bit and head to the edge of town.

Pick your pardner and saddle up! If you followed this guide exactly, you should have 1,337 meat in your pocket (after spending the meat to buy a horse), unlocking the Fistful Of Cutlets perk.

That's absolutely everything you can do in the Boring Springs prologue, filling your saddles with all the XP, items, and meat you'll need to head to Dirtwater and begin the game's main story.

Solutions for every achievement.
Other West of Loathing Guides:

• How to Win Fort Memoriam Battles.
• Abandoned Pickle Factory.
• EXP & Item Farming Locations.
• Soupstock Lode Elevator.
• Old Millinery Walkthrough.
• Snake Oiler Crafting.
• WANTED: Alive Achievement Guide.

Horses

These are easy. Buy each of the three special horses on a different playthrough.

Pardners

There are four pardners you can recruit in Boring Springs, you can recruit one per playthrough and each has an achievement for finishing the game.

Contributing to the Delinquency of a Miner

Watch the end credits in Frisco with Crazy Pete as a pardner, he should be available by default.Pete gets stronger as you wander around new areas of the map; events will pop up where he tells you about geology.

I Love the Way You Shoot

Watch the end credits with Susie Cochrane as your pardner. To recruit her as a pardner, walk up to her in the bar, then ask the bartender about her and examine her family's graves at the graveyard. Talk to her again and she'll ask you to get her gun from her ranch. Fetch it for her and she'll agree to join you when you leave for Dirtwater. Susie gets stronger as you kill cows, so kill them whenever you can and seek out new types to kill.

What's Up, Doc?

Watch the end credits with Doc Alice as your pardner. To recruit her, talk to the hosteler about his injury, he'll mention that Alice quit practicing medicine and spends her time drinking whiskey. Retrieve a bottle from the basement of the bar and offer it to her to get inside her house. Once you're inside, give it to her and she'll mention the undead problem. If you've fought a skeleton at the graveyard you'll be able to continue talking to her about them. Examine the TNT in her house and ask her about it and the undead a few more times, then you'll be able to suggest she go out and deal with the undead and offer to take her with you when you go.Alice gets stronger as you kill skeletons, just like Susie does with cows.

Yes! Yes! To Finishing!

Watch the end credits with Gary as your pardner. Gary is the goblin in the basement of Boring Springs' bar and recruiting him is less straightforward than the others. After you agree to go into the basement and kill him, do not fight him. Instead, grab the whiskey and give it to Alice like you do when recruiting her. Alice has a book in her bookcase that teaches you how to speak to goblins, read it and then go back to the basement and talk to Gary. You won't be able to get the meat for killing him now but now you can take him with you when you leave for Dustwater.

A Fistful of Cutlets

The goal of this achievement is to get the maximum possible meat from the prologue. It can only be done if you took Dickerin' as your free skill book and grabbed the needle out of the haystack before you left the family farm.
Do every quest in the prologue except unlocking the door to the jail cell, you'll need the needle later. Gary will have to die because you need the meat from killing him for the achievement. At the Poker game, bet the option that requires three Moxie and then use your class's persuasion skill to get the money. You'll also need to sell Pete the two chunks of ore from Orehole Mine and the rock from a rockpile in Thousand Snakes Gulch. After all that you should have 2336 meat, subtracting the 1000 meat for the horse from that leaves you just one short of the achievement.
The last piece of meat you need is hidden in Orehole Mine in the corner behind where the Dark Horse was. Walk down there and press E, you'll get a message saying there's a crack in the wall that will take three sticks of dynamite to blow open. You can get two sticks from Brade's stall, one for trading a needle and a free one for having the Dickerin' skill. The third one is hidden in Thousand Snakes gulch. When you get to the third rattlesnake in the Gulch, surrender to it and you'll get a free stick of dynamite to help when you try again, take it and the other two sticks to the mine instead. Now just blow open the wall and use a needle to pick the lock on the lockbox you find. (remember when I said not to pick the lock on the jail cell? That's why)
Now just leave for Dirtwater and you'll get the achievement. After that, if you start a new game and skip the prologue you'll be able to take Gary and the Sherf badge along with the maximum amount of meat.

In a Row?

Just keep playing the game, you'll get this.

WANTED

These achievements are for clearing all five bounties posted at Dirtwater's jail. You'll need the Ruthless perk from the prologue to kill all five gangs.

House-in-the-Desert Gang

Alive: Bring a skeleton bone, some oil and a lock with you. Give the bone to the dog, oil the gate and then lock the gang in their house and you'll be able to arrest them with no problem.
Dead: Ignore the items and just fight. Alternatively, if you got the Ruthless perk by killing any of the prologue bandits in cold blood, you can complete it the same way as the Alive achievement if you also have some kerosene and a match with you. After you lock them in the house, pick the Ruthless option to burn it down.

Stripey Hat Gang

Alive: Pry the bars off the middle cave entrance. Open the door to release the spider into the right side of the cave where it will encase the gang in webbing
Dead: Just walk up and fight them or if you have Ruthless you can do the alive route but choose to let the spider eat them.

Potemkin Gang

Lure all three in front of the same 'building' in their 'town'. One gang member runs up to any 'building' you get too close to. The second gang member runs to the next building down the line when you get too close to her. The third can be talked to and will go to any building you tell him to. Now go inspect the outhose on the edge of town to discover that it's actually a fake set. If you want them alive, cut the rope after they're all in front of the jail. If you want them dead and have Ruthless, move them to the sandwich shop instead and detonate the TNT barrel.

Black Hat Bandits

Alive: Watch to see which hat is theirs. For Room 5, make the piano play Public Domain Joe before you go in.
Dead: With Ruthless, do the same as alive but instead of turning them in, just shoot them while they're tied up and take their hats back.

Gherkin Brothers

'Alive': Balance all three cucumber vats at 11 (you'll have to effectively drop one vat to -1, which is still zero as far as the game is concerned, then raise everything back up evenly until it balances), then tell the ghost they're balanced. Set the salt to 976, then tell the second ghost it's correct. Heat the vinegar up to 190 degrees, then tell the third ghost the temperature is correct. Now take the bones back to Dirtwater.
Truly Dead: You can fight the ghosts, but they'll probably be too hard unless you're good at combat, abuse items or come back later in the game. Alternatively, you can complete their unfinished business. Do the puzzles like you would when leaving them alive-ish. but instead of telling them their jobs are done, pull the lever out in the main room to despense three ghost pickles. They'll come out and thank you before they pass on to the afterlife.

The Terrible Secret of Cotton Candy

First you need to get to the Circus. Either pay the 5000 meat entry fee at the gate, talk the clown down to a lower price (if you're not a Cowpuncher) or search the Destroyed Campsite until you discover the Clown Campsite and get a ticket from them.
Once you're in, buy some cotton candy from the vendor. Buy a second cotton candy from him and steal his slide whistle. Talk to the child on the other side of the midway and he'll tell you he lost his lucky bottle cap. Ask the hot dog vendor if it's in the lost and found and while he's not looking, drop the slide whistle in. Then ask the cotton candy vendor for a third piece and he'll mention it's free if you can find his whistle. Tell him it's in the lost and found and he'll go over there, leaving you alone and able to inspect his cotton candy machine.

Under Pressure

Go to Kellogg Ranch and the barn, either pick the lock or find the keys by using the crowbar on the loose board in the main building. Go into the kitchen and mix up some dough with Kellogg's recipe, but when you put it in the dough press, keep turning up the pressure until you black out. That's all there is to this one.

Our Daily Bread

Do all the quests given by the mayor of Breadwood.

The missing mail

Go to the Breadwood bunkhouse and talk to the guy with a beard. He'll direct you to the Postal Way Station. When you get there, check the cabinet to find maps of the area; unfortunately, you have no idea what they mean and will need to ask someone who does, like the Dirtwater postman, so go pay a visit to the Dirtwater post office and ask her about it. Return to the Way Station and check the shelves again, it will lead you to Chuck's House. Go in and talk to him about his special tea blend, then go over, switch the labels and ask him about it again. He'll go to his bloodr- er, bedroom to sleep and you can sneak in there and grab the key to the basement, where the missing mail, a bunch of skill books and a postcard are waiting.

The overdue book

Easy enough, just go up to Alexandria Ranch, kill the hellcalves and loot what's left of the book from the wreckage of the farmhouse.

The logging permit

Go to Ghostwood and keep dealing with them until you get the permit. Remember to get the pencil out of the cactus when you get the temporary pass. Keep following their directions until they give you the unsigned permit. Take it back to Breadwood to get the Mayor's signature and then get the pencil back from him. After you return the permit to Ghostwood, rest at your room in Dirtwater until they said they'd be done with the permit.

The soup shortage

Get some heat resistance and go to Soupstock Mine. Scoop up the soup with the bowls you were given. Three of the soup veins are locked behind the broken elevator. You can either solve the puzzle with some simple math or get the repair manual from the basement of Alexandria Ranch. To open the Ranch's basement, get the cannonball from Fort Cowardice and then pick the locks on the lockers at Fort Treason. Take the post office box key you find back to Dirtwater and grab the documents from there. Put the flare you got from the lockers on the Alexandria basement door and go back to the cannon to blast it open. Be sure to have a match or you can't fire it. With the skill from the repair manual in the basement you can skip Soupstock's puzzle and fix several other broken elevators in the game without parts. The final soup vein requires some heat resistance and the easiest place to get some is from digging around in the spittoon in Roy Bean's museum, so make a detour there if you don't have any.

The skeleton raids

Go to the Military Cemetery and check the caretaker's shack. You should find a flier for the wargames at Fort Memorial. The caretaker is the guy eating chips, you can convince him to get back to his job by having your class' persuasion stat at 4 or beating all of their challenges.

The stolen yeast

Go in, fight the boss, loot its corpse for the yeast. If you don't feel like fighting it, examine the beer vat and then attach the hose to it; this requires 20 Moxie to do.

The missing bread

Talk to the Baker Boys. There are several solutions and they're all relatively easy. If you have Kellogg's barn unlocked you can give them grain to practice breadmaking with. If you've cleared the cultists out of the buffalo pile you can give them bonemeal to grow their wheat. You can also go to the Lazy-A Dude Ranch and hire Louise to help them, but she'll need some soap to clean up before she goes. If you have 3 Foragin' or are a Beanslinger with 25 Mysticality you can just get bread and be on your way.

KUZPA HOPA

Unlocked after learning 69 words of the El Vibrato language. You can learn them by using batteries to power up the El Vibrato monoliths that give the Energized buff or by taking El Vibrato punchcards to the Education Facility at the bottom of the Curious Abandoned Well.
To amass enough punchcards you'll need to go through the first part of the El Vibrato questline. First, go to the Humming Cave. Wander around the northeast corner of the map until you find it or the Rescue Mission, which has a quest that shows the way to Humming Cave. Take the triangular device from the cave and wander around until you find the Perfessor's House. He will show you how to use the device to find more El Vibrato technology. Wander around until you find enough El Vibrato supplies and robots to repair the Perfessor's device and make a keystone with it. Take that keystone into the Lost Dutch Oven Mine and use it to unlock the teleporter pylon. Inside, there's a box you can grab that will let you make as many El Vibrato batteries as you need. To get more punchcards, wander around and fight robots and loot El Vibrato caches or take keystones into El Vibrato ruins to unlock the storage crates.

Won't You Come Out Tonight

Reanimate Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Bill.
Go to the Buffalo Pile. Grab the locker key from the coat and open the locker. Hide in the wardrobe to learn the rhymes for the Buffalo reanimation fluid recipe, (it's always been milk, blood ichor in my playthroughs). mix up some fluid and then take some bones for a Soldier from the shelf and put them on the table. Apply the fluid to the bones and Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Bill will come alive and be able to join your party. He'll clear out the cultists from the Buffalo Pile for you, giving you access to the Unlimited Bones perk.

The Blackest Hat

Defeat the Necromancer by absorbing him with Necromantic Mastery.
Read enough Nex-Mex books to learn the Dark Howdy skill and gather enough clues from the Necromancer cultists to find the Necromancer's Tower. Clues can be found lying around anywhere that the Necromancers have been, but you'll also need to ask the Perfessor about Leylines, discover Hellstrom Ranch and get the Mycology book from the Military Cemetery or the Dirtwater bookstore if you've unlocked it. Nex-Mex books can be found in many of the places touched by the Necromancers, but there are also ones at Fort Memoriam and Chuck's House. If you chose the Pale Horse at the start of the game it will lead you to a hidden book while wandering.

Three Bridges Too Far

Complete the second railroad quest three times with different bridges.
After you get the train across the mountains, the railroad construction will get stalled again at a canyon. Smee will suggest you go to Breadwood to get lumber but there are two other options as well.

Breadwood lumber bridge

Complete enough of the mayor's quests and he'll agree to supply you with lumber. You don't need to do them all, five is enough, though it's a good idea to finish this bridge on the same run you get the Our Daily Bread achievement.

El Vibrato model bridge

Mess with the El Vibrato console at the Curious Copse north of Breadwood to make a bridge.
First you need to activate the reactor in the Lost Dutch Oven Mine, you'll need an El Vibrato battery to power the door console leading to it. After it's powered up, explore around Breadwood until you find the Curious Copse. Keep going right, past the El Vibrato drone until a really big teleporter pylon appears. Now that the console is powered by the reactor at the mine, you need to route power and materials into construction. Route the power pipeline from the solar array to the north central construction facility and the matter pipeline from the matter teleporter to the north central construction facility. Now go into the solar array terminal and orient the panels until they're in the optimum position at west/east 101, north/south 42. Finally, go into the construction terminal and choose the local bridge beacon as the current construction. Take it back to Smee at the canyon and build the bridge.

Buffalo bone bridge

Clear the cultists out of the Buffalo Pile and read a few Nex-Mex books until you're abile to magic a bridge out of bones.
Not as many books as you'd need for The Blackest Hat, just enough to summon the second type of skeletal thrall.

Meat Mystery

Find Curly's Meat.
This is a long quest that spans the entire game. First, read about Curly at Doc Alice's house in the prologue (this might be optional, I still get the next part after skipping the prologue, but I've already read it in the prologue before so I'm not sure if it carries over). Travel to the Butterfield Ranch and examine the outhouse, you'll get a clue telling you to go to Kole Ridge Mine. Grab the rope on the fence before you leave for Kole, you'll need it to get to the lower level. In Kole, there's a formation of rocks with triangles painted on, dig in the center to find a compass. Go to Alexandria Ranch and use the compass there to find a cairn surrounded by aspens. With 50 Muscle you'll be able to lift it up and take the device buried underneath, take it to Madness Maw Mine. Use the device in each room until it gives you the option to dig with your pickaxe, you'll open up a secret room with half a map that says the other half is with a man called Halloway. Halloway's place is in the woods north of Frisco, so wander around up there until his store unlocks. If you talk to him with the pin from the locker in Breadwood's Bunkhouse and the old pick from Jumbleneck mine he'll panic but calm down when you agree to drop the subject. After doing that he'll let you have his half of the map. Combine the two halves and read it to learn the treasure is buried outside Halloway's shack. Dig it up and open it for your prize and the achievement.

No Country for Old Gods

Contain Roberto.
This is the culmination of the El Vibrato content. To solve this quest you need to retrieve power cylnders from Madness Maw Mine and the Abandoned Mine south of Frisco. After you have those, wander in the woods north of Frisco until you find the Curious False Mountain and Curious Flat Plane. Place the cylindars in the reactors there and set the terminals' power to Roberto Containment. Now, talk to Pvt. Bowlegs at Fort Unneccesary to learn about Alamo Rent-a-Mule. Talk to the complaint department manager there and he'll give you a quest to go to Deepest Delve Mine. Grab the gas cap from the back entrance or use Percussive Maintenance to fix the elevator and go down to level two. Fight the cultists or trick them using the mask of the cultist leader from Madness Maw with three of your class' persuasion skill. Grab the big + off the altar and go down to level four. The cultists down here require 5 in your persuasion skill to trick. Once you get past them, dig out the teleport pylon and go through it to find the Roberto containment chamber. Interact with the center of the machine to install the object you got upstairs. Now with power from both facilities, use the console. You'll be rewarded with the achievement and an El Vibrato crown for saving the world from Roberto.

Emperormaker

Get the train into Frisco by giving Norton a crown instead of fighting him.
There are several crowns he'll accept. You can give him the Necromancer's crown if you aren't playing on hard mode (your hat will destroy it), you can give him the crown you got from containing Roberto or you can take the turnip you got way back in the prologue and pay the Silver Plater 20,000 meat to plate it. Each crown has a different ending but you only need to do one for the achievement.

The Hard Way

Beat the game while wearing the Hard Hat.
You can get the Hard Hat by giving the ore samples to Crazy Pete in the prologue. He'll mention something about Orehole Mine being dangerous, especially Floor 40. Go back to Orehole and set the freight elevator to 40. The elevator will open to reveal a black box that contains the Hard Hat.
This hat gives zero stats, makes the game harder and makes you unable to have Gary as your pardner or ride the Dark Horse.

The Really Hard Way

Beat the game while wearing the Hard Hat in a single day.
Even harder than the regular Hard Hat achievement. You can't get knocked out more than your tolerance for pain will allow and you're stuck with whatever food, booze and medicine buffs you take until you get the train all the way into Frisco. In short, this takes a lot more care and planning than anything else in the game. The buffs from El Vibrato monolith buffs will be vital to surviving the late game.
You'll need room in your spleen for the potion from the Fort of Darkness if you want to fight Norton and not pay thousands of meat for the ant-eye virus cure. If you want to give him a crown you're stuck paying tens of thousands for the turnip crown unless you want to fight the Roberto cultists as they can't be skipped unless you're wearing the cult leader hood.
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